All Day. Every Day!

I dont enjoy these night calls anymore :\

Can’t lie, I kinda get nervous when u go out for team bonding with ur boys. There’s almost always SOME girl that wants to holler at you. |:

And once u tell me about “her” I’m always like “naw bitch. MY man.” in my head, smh

a guy that actually comforts u & takes care of you she you’re sick >

I want to sit around with u all day eating 100 different foods and watch movies while I relax in ur arms.

in the morning:
open the front door. walk out onto the porch. look around. look for newspaper. look around more. can’t find it so you just enjoy the good or bad weather. hear Mama yelling to get back inside. quickly walk back inside. explain, you were looking for the newspaper (even though we never get it at my house, sorry).

in the afternoon:
get outta bed when Mama falls asleep. sit on the kitchen couch. get up. get food. walk around & explore the house. get food. explore. get food. explore. continue until Mama wakes back up & yells at you for not “respecting our privacy around the house”. nap time!

while eating breakfast/lunch/dinner:
keep stuffing your face till Mama tells you other wise…saying youre not behaving right or eating sloppily.

once i’m home from school/hoop practice: (my favorite part :))
chill on the couch with ur (favorite) granddaughter <3. turn on some cartoons. laugh. enjoy urself. look at ur granddaughter with a smile she’ll never forget. a smile that warms her heart inside and out, knowing you’re still enjoying life. share cheeto’s, oreos, milk, while sneaking cups of sprite …while the grown-ups rn’t looking of course. hahah! pull out your old deck of playing cards. look at them, hoping you’ll remember how to play again… hold them in ur hand for a little bit then put them back together. look at her with a confused look but end up smiling again anyways. back to snacks & cartoons. share a blanket. fall asleep.. (with ur mouth open :P <3). dream away as you get tucked in by your granddaughter, she’d watch over you and kick it with you for the rest of the day but she has homework. dinner time.

bet you didn’t kno this was my grandpa’s daily routine @ 1st.

you can easily see that 3 strokes have done a lot to Papa (a.k.a. my grandpa).
his mind is lost.
after his 1st stroke, i was the only thing/person he had remembered, laying down in the hospital bed. after giving it some time, he started remembering his wife, his kids, and the rest of his grandkids. his most recent strokes have really damaged his brain, he hasn’t been able to remember much exept 1) his wife 2) the fact that he has served in the navy for hella years.
it scares me how often u end up in the emergency room, sick. idk what i’d do without you.

i dedicated solo by iyaz to my grandpa the 1st time he had a stroke.
beautiful song.
i love u so much Papa, i look forward to hanging out with u everyday after school & hoop practice. :) <3

i fucking miss my bestfriend. </3
plain and simple.
i miss hanging out with her almost everyday.
i miss seeing her less stressed about certain things.
i miss seeing her in general.
i miss acting like a dork. she was the only one i could be HELLA stupid with and she’d just play along.
i miss having someone to vent to because i feel like she has been going thru so much more worse, harsh things. my problems r nothing compared to hers.

i treat her like nothing ever happened last summer with her health, but i’m always scared. i don’t want my bestest friend hurting. i don’t want my bestfriend to deal with this anymore, having to go to the hospital for more and more chemotheropy.
it’s really not the bizz.

i’ll just stop now, words can’t truely describe how much i miss u and how much i’ve been hurting knowing you’re still going thru and fighting bone cancer. 
i love u man, i miss u so damn much, stay strong cuz you’re the strongest girl i know.

i’m so thankful finals is over. studying all day, all night. a lot of my grades r at 89% and one of my grade is 80%…if that shit drops down to a C+ ima shoot myself. no no, correction: my parents will. UGH. hate gahdamn spanish.

chores chores chores.
if i’m not hooping at logan/sc, i’m at home doing chores. ugh, when i try to rest, i just get in more trouble. they already think i don’t do any chores which is fucking stupid cuz i’m always helping around the house.
lost track of how many times they’ve called me a dissapointment.

i cannot wait till i get my license.
all i’ve been doing lately is daydream about my car and what it’ll be like once i’m able to get out on the road.
my parents keep telling me not to be like my big sister, fucking shit up. this is her 8th year in college for a 4 year course. idk how many times i hafta tell them, i won’t be like her.
when i get my license, i won’t have to feel so bad for asking my parents to drive me everywhere like hoop practice and visiting friends and to walmart/officemax and to the gym on late nights. i’ll still ask them for permission to get outta the house (most of the time haha) but i’m out, no more feeling so bad.
i enjoy driving to school everymorning with my big sister asleep in the front seat “being my safe, watching guardian”…not. i enjoy having the windows down, having the music down, just driving around.
once i’m pissed at home again (& a gym isn’t open), that’s definately what i’m gunna do.

speaking of being able to drive around…how could i forget to mention being able to visit my boyfriend at his house once in a while.
i mean, nothing’s gunna happen.
i just love being with him. just sitting, chilling there.
laying down in his arms, just relazing.
my parents don’t trust me enough to let me go to his house for even 5 min. </3.
i guess it’s reasonable, they just don’t want anything to happen.
just wished they trusted me a bit more…
the only way me and Babe hang out outside of school is if it’s at my house.
if we get lucky we get to watch a movie at UL, UC …then head back home. haha.
i love hanging out with him at home but they are sooo many people that live in my house. they r always walking around chilling downstairs and stuff.
no boys r allowed upstairs so no where we could really go.
not to mention my little booger of a sister always bugging us. |:
it’s one thing to want to play a game or 2 with us…
…but when she wants to be with us ALL THE TIME and acts like a little BRAT?!?!
nu-uh. not gunna happen.

then there’s fucking basketball.
i LOVE the sport. just sooo much pressure to always play well with this dumb ass rep and ish. :\ but what’s life without a little pressure, yunno? it’s wat pushes u to do better.
i just hate how much more stress it puts on me.
gotta step up my GAME.

i’ve been getting so many looks and offers and ish idk what to do.
ugh. more decisions to make. more pressure. more stress.
meeting different basketball coaches.
trying to be recruited for different teams.
asked to join track and field?! shit. spring is the only time i have a break away from school sports. |:
idk how to balance all this shit out.

fuck injuries.

fuck asthma.

fuck eczema.

“fuck bitches. get money. play basketball.”
hahah

and that’s just the start of all my thoughts…

…i need a break. but idk how to get one.
my head is really bouta explode from over thinking everything so damn much.

…3…2…1…boom. \: